Uganda: The only Country where Celebrities Stalk their Fans

Naturally, world (social) order dictates that fans do the stalking when it comes to their celebrities. Law courts world over have handled thousands of cases where celebrities have complained of being stalked by obsessed nightmare super fans. I have never had of a fan complaining of being followed around all day by a celebrity making a nuisance of him/ herself!! Stalking can be defined as unwanted or neurotic attention by an individual towards another. In Psychology & Psychiatry (analysis) and also in some legal jurisdictions, stalking is a criminal offence. Robert Dewey Hoskins was sentenced to ten years in prison for stalking Madonna in 1996. He escaped from the mental institution where he was committed and was back at his stalking business in 2012. This brings me to my point, local singer Irene Ntale last month released a song titled ‘Gyobera’ (Where u stay) that is now a sort of household hit. She is by all means a talented thing standing on two very shapely female legs! However, am starting to believe she is a stalker. Going by the song’s lyrics, it is clear that Ntale is obsessed with the object of her desires; who obviously has no idea of her existence. By the way, obsession is one of the major symptoms of stalking. She knows where he stays and the room number on his muzigo plus probably how many checkered boxers he has, trousers and the colour of his bed sheets. Ntale also has his number and I am sure she has no connections in any of the telecommunication service providers. She also knows the kafunda where he drinks and his favorite beer although she does not mention it in the song…I am assuming it is obvious! She continuously talks about how he uses boda bodas and the number of the guy who rides it, what time he picks and drops him. Ntale claims to know all that information (most of which is personal) because she resides in the same neighborhood with the dude (Gyobera gyembela). This could be true but how many of you know your neighbour’s every move or side dishes or if they are even cheating on their spouses? I know of some people who do not even know their immediate neighbour’s name and it is not that they are bad neighbours. If Ntale’s behavior is not stalking then there must be a new definition of the word that I am not aware of. In fact, if I were that dude in her neighborhood, I would have slapped her with a law suit for being so dedicated to me (her fan) that she went to such extreme measures. She is a stalker just!! 

That Desire Luzinda Woman is Really Something!

Unlike in high school movies where one (s/he) shares a classroom with all his/her lovers and ex-lovers, singer (for luck of a better word to describe her) Desire Luzinda surely needs to be recognized by the Guinness book of Records. She is probably the first Ugandan woman to have all her publicly known lovers and ex-lovers under one roof for more than five hours. While others would need Anti-Riot police to prevent their exes from knocking out each other’s teeth or thumping the living lights out the other, Desire’s men were simply trying to out-do each other financially to impress her. (Seems there is a secret about dating her that just sticks). There were four known and some unknown at Serena Hotel’s Victoria Hall last Friday evening during her successful Black & White concert. However, most people attribute the concert’s success to her insanely curvy body than her music (the woman last released a song ages ago…anyway that is talk for another day). Her escapades with former city mayor Seya Ssebagala are well documented, he was present. He however failed to construct a five word sentence when the emcee handed him the mic and asked him to greet the guests. Seya whose battle with the queen’s language dates way back opted for his much preferred local dialect (which he is fluent at by the way). I am still wondering how he managed to convince sharp Kampala people to vote for him when he can’t even say ‘hello’ to people. Then there was Michael Kaddu, the man who desire acknowledges as the father of her daughter. In my view, the girl resembles a certain General Juma Seiko who is claiming her; he was also present. The smile on his face when the girl in question was on stage singing her mum would convince machines that carry out DNA tests that he is her father! He was by the way overheard bragging to his neighbours about how talented his daughter is. Then there was another man who says he should always be introduced with the ‘Tycoon’ title Godfrey Kirumira…I am not sure but it was said that the two recently developed that science subject that shattered dreams of many of us thanks to its equations. Desire’s current man, a Nigerian named Franklin Emuobor Ebenhron was also somewhere in the crowd sitting with ordinary guests. A certain Mukiga engineer called Ken Ntaro was not present but he managed to send a representative in his manager at the Jinja Road based night club. Ken was busy serving beer!!! Ooh…almost forgot about another Nigerian called Tunde. He was not in the country but I am sure if he was, he would have cancelled all appointments that day to go support Desire’s humanitarian cause!!!